I had a seizure nearly a year ago. I cannot say what was scarier: the pain or the fact that I could not understand what was happening in my body. I still don’t know enough to really speak too much about the nature of seizures, but I can say that it was unfamiliar enough to scare me. I will never look at death the same.
This past weekend I got very sick again and in a similar way. For this reason I want to keep this post very short. My creativity is about as weak as I am right now.
The thoughts of despair, anger and anguish just flood my mind. It is no good feeling being sick on top of emotional distress. If you know someone who is in the hospital, in a home or even dying I admonish that you go visit them. I can give you a breakdown of the research within the field of interpersonal neurobiology that supports this. I could spill all the scientific terminology to explain why this is important. I can beat the air and wave my hands, all to portray why empathy is such a critical part of any healing process. I will, however, skip all of that and say to whomever kindly reads this post that ‘doing unto others as you would have them do to you’ goes without much saying sometimes.
For who knows what is good for a person in life, during the few and meaningless days they pass through like a shadow? Who can tell them what will happen under the sun after they are gone?
I had a vivid dream last night when I returned from the hospital. I was back home at my university, sitting in the room in which I took advanced drawing lessons. I was using colored pencils to draw a portrait from my imagination. Quite often, my dreams are like movies and they have a way of digressing and building up to the plot in a seamless fashion that gives me just enough information before I wake up. By the time I had finally realized the portrait I looked down at it. There were blunt hash marks that formed a face. It was Jesus. I looked up and saw that it had caught the attention of some students nearby. When I looked down at it again I saw that his face was a bit more clarified from the first time. He had a smile. I turned to my peers and said with some uncertainty, “…It’s because he’s coming back soon.”