I realized while typing the title that it is also the title of one of my favorite songs by Anberlin. In fact, it was the first song I heard by them.
I kept coming back to them while in high school and all throughout college. Something about that seamless movement and the stark white background just was so alluring to me. (Of course Youtube would just spite me and take that version down.) Lo and behold, as I had kept them in mind, I realized that they were actually Christians. Huh! Go figure.
Seeing my cousin express his writer’s block in a Facebook post was a delightful reminder of the necessity to freewrite. I think I get more of an itch and an apathy about it all at once. The beautiful thing about it, however, is that there are no rules. Rather, I think that freewriting is as fleeting as hummingbird, as precarious as a fly and haphazard as a stink bug, the way it crosses the mind when a creative thought comes into awareness. I cannot move to a notebook as fast as I can think on many occasions.
Once again, I have written this post a day late. Agh, I just feel like I am running behind with everything. I don’t even know what to make of the audio scriptures I have been listening to. I will say one thing though, and that is that I get a sense of what things looked like back then as I close my eyes and escape in the story. These few and far between tranquil moments come and go, much like my thoughts. I inhale deeply and close the window of the audio stream once I have finished. Even now, I am still waiting for this to make sense.
I may need a few good weeks to recover from all the hoopla of these past 3 weeks in which I was preparing to hire Instantravel‘s new intern. Just earlier today, on this day late, I conducted her orientation and training. It is nice to come back to my own personal interface. I missed it. There is absolute freedom here as of now.
Then Nathan said to David, “You are the man! This is what the Lord, the God of Israel, says: ‘I anointed you king over Israel, and I delivered you from the hand of Saul. I gave your master’s house to you, and your master’s wives into your arms. I gave you all Israel and Judah. And if all this had been too little, I would have given you even more. Why did you despise the word of the Lord by doing what is evil in his eyes?…
Then David said to Nathan, “I have sinned against the Lord.”
2 Samuel 12: 7-9, 13
I guess it is starting to make sense, now that I think about it. I spent a lot of time learning about David; and I have been thinking a lot about leadership. Earlier today I had to apologize to a friend because in my heart I knew that I had offended him back at the beginning of the summer. This phase that I am in is one that constantly reminds me that I have influence whether I like it or not. Whether I am smiling or completely stressing out, someone is going to be affected by that.
This morning I awoke to meet the Internship Director so that we could talk to the school principal about me potentially doing art workshops there. It was not necessarily far, but it was a good walk for the both of us, especially once we arrived only to find out that the school was closed due to the Independence Day celebration in Costa Rica. She turned to me to apologize, wide-eyed and completely flustered. Minutes before I had asked her, “¿Que habían los retos mas grandes para usted? (What have been your biggest challenges?)”
Note: I did not edit any statements out of this–I merely spell checked. That is freewriting for you: very careful, deeply meditated freewriting.