I have not been very consistent with updating my Youtube account. For a while, although there were many things running through the infinite expanse of my restless mind, I could never quite find the words to say. So finally I decided to let my heart do the talking after a long, enriched and inspired day. The idea came to me to echo the words of Jonathan’s tweets as a gift and acknowledgement of our bewildering, budding friendship. You can find him on Youtube also. Let’s call him…Tetheas
The stifling silence has not restricted my wide vocabulary of facial expressions, as you can see. (I think I would fare rather well as a sign language interpreter.) Even so, it has occurred to me on more than several occassions that I have a heart for the online community. No, I don’t think that I was ever meant to be any kind of online sensation. Some people can do that, but that’s not who I am and even if I were given the opportunity I would not want to be a cyberstar. I just want to be who I am.
My sister has always been so good at keeping in touch. She always knew the phone numbers and addresses of our relatives. She and my dad both would have to remind me to call people on their birthdays. I felt like the epitome of irresponsibility. I tell her that it’s her gift. It really is: it’s a true gift to stay connected.
Perhaps the main reason why I succumbed once again to reality had been because I needed to be better equipped, more resourceful, at the disposal of various people who would need me. Over time, I have come to a place of peace about reaching people where they are just like Christ does. Even if someone moves along at a slug pace it is only fitting that I continue to move right along with them…no matter how painstakingly slow it seems. Besides, someone had to do the same thing for me at one point in my life.
I sent a birthday message to an old friend from high school via Facebook, reminding her of how much I appreciated her kindness to me then. She responded within the next few days. I received the message right before I went to bed. I was drafting out thoughts onto paper, pondering my next blog, when she invited me to Shenandoah Valley along with her and a group of friends from her church. ‘God never forces. He always invites,’ I thought as I recalled a wise statement which a spiritual mentor once told me. It seems that God has always had quite an affinity for spontaneous entertaining.
Who would have known that the very next morning I would find myself ascending the sides of trails that stretched up and around a mountain? Who would have known that I would eventually pass out pictures and say ‘this was four years ago?’ (My friend and I both fought the urge to tear up a photo with us together.) Who would have known? While immersed in a remarkable place that teemed with God’s thumbprint on every pebble and in every tree, I ranted about the amazing unexplored territory in the land of social media in addition to other arty-nerdy topics that make my invisible smarty glasses get all foggy.
“I’m talking too much,” I told her while we hopped over patches of ice and danced over rocks.
“No, you’re just really passionate about something,” she replied confidently.
I begin school the day after next, on Wednesday. As I plan for my last semester in school I wonder who I am and what I’m doing. I am in a prominent leadership position within my campus ministry. I have internships, grants, jobs and art exhibitions to pursue. I want a life of my own on the side too. I’m on the cusp of exiting a season in my life during which God drastically eradicated the essence of who I was in order for me to become who I am. So just who am I? I must say that for having blazed these trails (and the ones in Shenandoah, which are some serious climbing slopes) I am rather outstanding. I think you are too.
We know that we live in Him and He in us, because He has given us of His Spirit. And we have seen and testify that the Father has sent His Son to be the Savior of the world. If anyone acknowledges that Jesus is the Son of God, God lives in Him and He in God. And so we know and rely on the love God has for us. God is love. Whoever lives in love lives in God, and God in Him.
1 John 4: 13-16 NIV